Why is it that every time I log onto Facebook some teenager has put in a status update which says, "I'm bored"? Even my son is guilty of that on occasion, and I have to wonder why boredom is such a problem for today's youth. Of course, he is quick to tell me that saying "I'm bored" doesn't really mean, "I'm bored." Whatever!
Another mom we know suggested praying about his boredom, and I think she's truly onto something. When we say we're bored, we are making ourselves the center of the problem. After all, if we aren't doing what we want to do, life just doesn't seem quite interesting enough to keep our attention. Isn't it strange that none of the adults I know go around professing to be bored? Hmmm. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
I believe the key to conquering boredom is to begin living for someone other than yourself. The Bible says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). The Message translates the same verse this way: "Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."
Next time you are suffering from a case of boredom, change your focus. Instead of complaining about having nothing to do, find something to do for someone else. By making their life a little more enjoyable, you will inadvertently create your own sense of well-being and enjoyment.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes
In a world with so many forms of entertainment, it has become nearly impossible to avoid seeing, hearing, or reading things that influence the mind in negative ways. You and your friends have become so conditioned to profanity, indecency, and violence that you don't truly realize the effect that your entertainment choices may have. Just because everyone else goes to see a particular movie doesn't make it a right choice for the teen who desires to follow God. Sometimes you have to make a hard choice and opt out of a movie or television show that is laced with profanity, indecency, and violence. For the sake of your own soul (and your parents' sanity), dare to be different! Dare to take a stand against the things that "everybody else is doing" and live for the glory of the Holy One who created you for a relationship with him.
Everything you take in, good and bad, becomes a permanent resident in your mind, whether or not you realize it. The profane language you hear will eventually slip out of your own mouth. The violence you watch will eventually manifest itself in angry attitudes and actions, directed either toward others or yourself. The images you look at will create urges and desires that can, and likely will, lead to sinful behavior. "Oh, be careful little eyes what you see." If you choose to take in garbage and filth, those are the very attributes that you will be known by.
The Bible says: "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse" (Philippians 4:8, The Message). Being good is a real struggle, but God promises to honor those who honor him and to provide a way to escape temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). The kicker is, you have to choose to walk away from temptation.
Parents, we probably don't do a good enough job of instilling godly values in our children. We may talk about purity and godly character, but if we ourselves choose to indulge in entertainment with mature themes or a secular worldview, we set ourselves up for failure and open the door for impurity to creep into our kids' lives. After all, children will live what they learn, so we'd better set the bar high and practice what we preach! No sacrifice is too great for our kids, so lay your own bad entertainment choices on the altar of God's grace and do the right thing for your kids. They are worth the sacrifice!
Everything you take in, good and bad, becomes a permanent resident in your mind, whether or not you realize it. The profane language you hear will eventually slip out of your own mouth. The violence you watch will eventually manifest itself in angry attitudes and actions, directed either toward others or yourself. The images you look at will create urges and desires that can, and likely will, lead to sinful behavior. "Oh, be careful little eyes what you see." If you choose to take in garbage and filth, those are the very attributes that you will be known by.
The Bible says: "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse" (Philippians 4:8, The Message). Being good is a real struggle, but God promises to honor those who honor him and to provide a way to escape temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). The kicker is, you have to choose to walk away from temptation.
Parents, we probably don't do a good enough job of instilling godly values in our children. We may talk about purity and godly character, but if we ourselves choose to indulge in entertainment with mature themes or a secular worldview, we set ourselves up for failure and open the door for impurity to creep into our kids' lives. After all, children will live what they learn, so we'd better set the bar high and practice what we preach! No sacrifice is too great for our kids, so lay your own bad entertainment choices on the altar of God's grace and do the right thing for your kids. They are worth the sacrifice!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Parents Aren't Perfect
In my sixteen years of parenting I have made a lot of mistakes. So have a lot of other parents. After all, parents are only human. We're not perfect, but chances are we would die for the well-being of our children, or at least fight to the death for them.
As I consider everything my mom had to put up with while my siblings and I still lived at home, it is a wonder that we all turned out as well as we did. With six kids at home and a husband who traveled a lot in his job, she did the best she could for us, always loving and praying for us and disciplining us when we needed it. There wasn't a lot of time for lengthy conversations about the issues of life, but back then times were a little less complicated. It was enough to know that she meant what she said. If we dared to stray from the straight and narrow, then we knew we deserved what came next. That, in itself, was enough to keep us motivated to do the right thing, or at least not do the wrong thing.
If you have parents or other grownups who will sit down and listen to you, take advantage of that and talk with them about the things that concern you. We can't know what it is you need if you don't tell us. Remember, we are dealing with problems of our own that sometimes are overwhelming. We don't always pick up on the signals you send, so just say what is on your mind.
If your parent advises you against doing something in particular or spending your time with certain friends, please listen to them and heed their advice. We are not always great at explaining ourselves, but we speak out of our own experience and the mistakes we made as teenagers and young adults. If we tell you to do something or not do something, realize that ninety-nine percent of the time we are telling you for your own good. If you ask "why?" and we respond "because I said so," trust us anyway. Explanations are not always necessary and sometimes only confuse things.
I am glad to be a parent, although it is the most difficult and stressful thing I do each day. It is a privilege to pray for my kids and teach them God's ways, though it is seldom easy. Until you have kids of your own, you will never understand why we parents do the things we do. Just know that we love you, we care about what's best for you, and we want more than anything for you to grow up to be godly men and women who will have a positive impact on your generation for the glory of God.
Young people, "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'--which is the first commandment with a promise--'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth'" (Ephesians 6:1-3).
As I consider everything my mom had to put up with while my siblings and I still lived at home, it is a wonder that we all turned out as well as we did. With six kids at home and a husband who traveled a lot in his job, she did the best she could for us, always loving and praying for us and disciplining us when we needed it. There wasn't a lot of time for lengthy conversations about the issues of life, but back then times were a little less complicated. It was enough to know that she meant what she said. If we dared to stray from the straight and narrow, then we knew we deserved what came next. That, in itself, was enough to keep us motivated to do the right thing, or at least not do the wrong thing.
If you have parents or other grownups who will sit down and listen to you, take advantage of that and talk with them about the things that concern you. We can't know what it is you need if you don't tell us. Remember, we are dealing with problems of our own that sometimes are overwhelming. We don't always pick up on the signals you send, so just say what is on your mind.
If your parent advises you against doing something in particular or spending your time with certain friends, please listen to them and heed their advice. We are not always great at explaining ourselves, but we speak out of our own experience and the mistakes we made as teenagers and young adults. If we tell you to do something or not do something, realize that ninety-nine percent of the time we are telling you for your own good. If you ask "why?" and we respond "because I said so," trust us anyway. Explanations are not always necessary and sometimes only confuse things.
I am glad to be a parent, although it is the most difficult and stressful thing I do each day. It is a privilege to pray for my kids and teach them God's ways, though it is seldom easy. Until you have kids of your own, you will never understand why we parents do the things we do. Just know that we love you, we care about what's best for you, and we want more than anything for you to grow up to be godly men and women who will have a positive impact on your generation for the glory of God.
Young people, "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'--which is the first commandment with a promise--'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth'" (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Sunday, October 25, 2009
That's Not Your Suitcase!
Ever since the 9/11 attacks, one of the standard airport security procedures has been that you don't pick up a suitcase that isn't yours. Doing so can threaten your safety and the well-being of those around you.
One of the problems facing today's young people is that in their desperate need to belong, they are often willing to take on the emotional baggage of their friends. This poses a real threat to the spiritual well-being of a young Christian. Rather than helping a troubled friend rise to a higher level of character and spiritual maturity, it often has the opposite effect of dragging the stronger individual down to the level of a wayward friend, where he or she is more likely to fall into sinful, self-destructive behaviors. I myself had that problem as a young adult in more than one relationship. I tended to hang out with friends who were spiritually lost or emotionally needy because of dysfunctional relationships and the hurt they suffered at someone else's hands. Staying in those relationships resulted in some very serious consequences and nearly cost me my life!
If you are a Christian teenager, please hear me clearly. Jesus ministered to those whose character was less than godly, and he spent time with those who clearly were not saved. However, in doing so never did he compromise God's Word, his convictions, or his divine character. You cannot be someone else's Savior; that is Jesus' role. By hanging out with friends of questionable character, you are placing yourself in great danger of taking on the sinful habits and behaviors of those you run with. You cannot bring them up to your level. Only the God can do that. Be wise -- let them carry their own baggage! Better yet, let God carry it!
You will be known by the company you keep, so choose your friends wisely. Understand that Jesus cares for your wayward friends even more than you do. Don't place yourself in a dangerous situation by taking on someone else's baggage. Chances are, you have enough baggage of your own. Commit yourself to the Lord, and pray for your friends. It is not your job to save the ones who are lost. Only Jesus can do that. Yes, pray for them and love them as Jesus would, but let Jesus do his job while you do yours. Your job is to live a holy and godly life (2 Peter 3:16), seek the righteousness of God and his kingdom (Matthew 6:33), and let your light shine rather than be snuffed out by the sin of worldly living (Matthew 5:16).
One of the problems facing today's young people is that in their desperate need to belong, they are often willing to take on the emotional baggage of their friends. This poses a real threat to the spiritual well-being of a young Christian. Rather than helping a troubled friend rise to a higher level of character and spiritual maturity, it often has the opposite effect of dragging the stronger individual down to the level of a wayward friend, where he or she is more likely to fall into sinful, self-destructive behaviors. I myself had that problem as a young adult in more than one relationship. I tended to hang out with friends who were spiritually lost or emotionally needy because of dysfunctional relationships and the hurt they suffered at someone else's hands. Staying in those relationships resulted in some very serious consequences and nearly cost me my life!
If you are a Christian teenager, please hear me clearly. Jesus ministered to those whose character was less than godly, and he spent time with those who clearly were not saved. However, in doing so never did he compromise God's Word, his convictions, or his divine character. You cannot be someone else's Savior; that is Jesus' role. By hanging out with friends of questionable character, you are placing yourself in great danger of taking on the sinful habits and behaviors of those you run with. You cannot bring them up to your level. Only the God can do that. Be wise -- let them carry their own baggage! Better yet, let God carry it!
You will be known by the company you keep, so choose your friends wisely. Understand that Jesus cares for your wayward friends even more than you do. Don't place yourself in a dangerous situation by taking on someone else's baggage. Chances are, you have enough baggage of your own. Commit yourself to the Lord, and pray for your friends. It is not your job to save the ones who are lost. Only Jesus can do that. Yes, pray for them and love them as Jesus would, but let Jesus do his job while you do yours. Your job is to live a holy and godly life (2 Peter 3:16), seek the righteousness of God and his kingdom (Matthew 6:33), and let your light shine rather than be snuffed out by the sin of worldly living (Matthew 5:16).
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
What do you see when you look in the mirror each day? A hunk, a hot babe, or a pimple-faced nobody? The mirror can be your friend or foe on any given day, but it can never capture the true essence of who you really are. Neither can it clearly show you how God sees you.
There is so much pressure to live up to the ideals of beauty we see in magazines and on TV. If you don't wear this or that, you aren't cool. If you are a girl, you probably think that the less clothing you wear and the more makeup you put on, the more guys will want you. But is that kind of attention you really want from the guys you know? Guys are just as caught up in this image game. After all, they want to be attractive, too. What guy do you know who doesn't want to turn a head or two when he's hanging out with his friends? They are always on the hunt and crave attention just as much as girls do.
Doesn't it wear you out trying to live up to the beauty standards of others? Don't you realize that you are a unique creation of God and that he loves you just the way you are, acne and all? God doesn't require that you put on makeup or dress a certain way in order for him to love and accept you. You don't have to have a certain body shape or hair color to catch his attention. He simply loves you because you are his child. The Bible tells us, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (1 Peter 3:3-4). That doesn't mean that a little lipstick and blush are bad; it simply means that the more others see God shining through you, the more beautiful you truly become.
It has been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. The next time you look into the mirror, try looking deep into your own eyes instead of at the freckles on your face or the cowlick in your hair. What do you see? Ask God to let you see yourself through his eyes. You are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), who set the standard for beauty and modesty. Don't tarnish his image by dressing inappropriately or hiding behind too much makeup. He loves and desires you just the way you are. As Jonny Diaz so well puts it: "There could never be a more beautiful you!"
There is so much pressure to live up to the ideals of beauty we see in magazines and on TV. If you don't wear this or that, you aren't cool. If you are a girl, you probably think that the less clothing you wear and the more makeup you put on, the more guys will want you. But is that kind of attention you really want from the guys you know? Guys are just as caught up in this image game. After all, they want to be attractive, too. What guy do you know who doesn't want to turn a head or two when he's hanging out with his friends? They are always on the hunt and crave attention just as much as girls do.
Doesn't it wear you out trying to live up to the beauty standards of others? Don't you realize that you are a unique creation of God and that he loves you just the way you are, acne and all? God doesn't require that you put on makeup or dress a certain way in order for him to love and accept you. You don't have to have a certain body shape or hair color to catch his attention. He simply loves you because you are his child. The Bible tells us, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (1 Peter 3:3-4). That doesn't mean that a little lipstick and blush are bad; it simply means that the more others see God shining through you, the more beautiful you truly become.
It has been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. The next time you look into the mirror, try looking deep into your own eyes instead of at the freckles on your face or the cowlick in your hair. What do you see? Ask God to let you see yourself through his eyes. You are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), who set the standard for beauty and modesty. Don't tarnish his image by dressing inappropriately or hiding behind too much makeup. He loves and desires you just the way you are. As Jonny Diaz so well puts it: "There could never be a more beautiful you!"
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Somebody Loves You
Ever have one of those days when it seems nobody cares or no one in particular loves you? Even we grownups have those days, but it's especially tough when you are a teenager. Whether you come from a home where both parents are together and everything is relatively peaceful or you are shuffled between households because of a divorce, you have times when you feel like nobody loves you. Nobody.
I can remember feeling that way often as I grew up. My parents divorced before I can remember and I grew up with my mom, stepfather, and five siblings. Life was not always good. There were the occasional arguments between my parents and the nagging insecurity of wondering if my mom would get divorced again. I knew that Mom loved me, but it took a long time to really feel like Daddy accepted me and loved me as his own. From his point of view there was never a question of his love, but insecurity and fear kept me from feeling his love for many years.
When I accepted Jesus as my Savior I finally learned what true love was. Although I didn't always feel confident of my stepfather's love, I knew that my heavenly Father loved me unconditionally and would have given his Son for me even if I had been the only person on the planet. That's how much he loves you, too. You're just that special to him.
The Bible tells us, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). Wherever you are today and however you feel at this moment, know that God loves you enough that he sacrificed his only child to pay the death penalty for your sin because he wants you to live with him forever. Forever! How great a love is that?!
If you have never asked Jesus into your heart, today would be a great day to do that. All you have to do is pray and ask him to forgive your sins, live in your heart, and be your Savior. If you do that, would you please tell a friend or grownup, or email me? I'd love to pray for you. My email address is livingthedream4him@bellsouth.net.
Remember, somebody loves you. His name is Jesus.
I can remember feeling that way often as I grew up. My parents divorced before I can remember and I grew up with my mom, stepfather, and five siblings. Life was not always good. There were the occasional arguments between my parents and the nagging insecurity of wondering if my mom would get divorced again. I knew that Mom loved me, but it took a long time to really feel like Daddy accepted me and loved me as his own. From his point of view there was never a question of his love, but insecurity and fear kept me from feeling his love for many years.
When I accepted Jesus as my Savior I finally learned what true love was. Although I didn't always feel confident of my stepfather's love, I knew that my heavenly Father loved me unconditionally and would have given his Son for me even if I had been the only person on the planet. That's how much he loves you, too. You're just that special to him.
The Bible tells us, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). Wherever you are today and however you feel at this moment, know that God loves you enough that he sacrificed his only child to pay the death penalty for your sin because he wants you to live with him forever. Forever! How great a love is that?!
If you have never asked Jesus into your heart, today would be a great day to do that. All you have to do is pray and ask him to forgive your sins, live in your heart, and be your Savior. If you do that, would you please tell a friend or grownup, or email me? I'd love to pray for you. My email address is livingthedream4him@bellsouth.net.
Remember, somebody loves you. His name is Jesus.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Lessons I Learned the Hard Way
The twenty-first century teenager is a unique force to be reckoned with. I know, because I am the mother of one. When I was a teenager, computers didn't even exist. We fought our battles on the playground, not in cyberspace. When we had news to tell (or a rumor to pass along), we passed notes, met on the playground, or used a land line instead of Facebook, MySpace, text messaging, and email. We thought good news traveled fast back then; we could never have dreamed that our secrets would be broadcast across the Internet in a nanosecond!
As a writer of devotionals for men and women, I have spent much time studying God's Word and reflecting on the issues I have faced as a parent and an adult in a very challenging world. Now it is time for me to focus on the people nearest and dearest to my heart--my children and their teenage and tweenage peers.
This journey will be one of discovery for all of us, and one which I hope will prove to be of help to the many troubled teens I know. At the risk of turning a few heads, I plan to share with the young people who will read these devotionals some of the lessons I learned the hard way, hoping that perhaps they will avoid making some of the same mistakes I did. I will be sharing things I have already told my own children about my life and the lessons God has taught me about his love and forgiveness, his Word, dating and physical intimacy, media and advertising influences, friendships, substance abuse, self-image, finances, and other things that our kids are facing now and will have to face in the future.
Parents, I encourage you to prayerfully consider reading and discussing these devotionals with your teens and tweens. We all need every bit of help we can get, and God's Word is full of wisdom, instruction, and hope for those of us in the trenches. Guys and gals, buckle your seatbelts -- this is going to be one interesting ride!
As a writer of devotionals for men and women, I have spent much time studying God's Word and reflecting on the issues I have faced as a parent and an adult in a very challenging world. Now it is time for me to focus on the people nearest and dearest to my heart--my children and their teenage and tweenage peers.
This journey will be one of discovery for all of us, and one which I hope will prove to be of help to the many troubled teens I know. At the risk of turning a few heads, I plan to share with the young people who will read these devotionals some of the lessons I learned the hard way, hoping that perhaps they will avoid making some of the same mistakes I did. I will be sharing things I have already told my own children about my life and the lessons God has taught me about his love and forgiveness, his Word, dating and physical intimacy, media and advertising influences, friendships, substance abuse, self-image, finances, and other things that our kids are facing now and will have to face in the future.
Parents, I encourage you to prayerfully consider reading and discussing these devotionals with your teens and tweens. We all need every bit of help we can get, and God's Word is full of wisdom, instruction, and hope for those of us in the trenches. Guys and gals, buckle your seatbelts -- this is going to be one interesting ride!
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