A friend's recent Facebook status update got me to thinking about what it means to be a rebel. If you are a teen whose behavior is contrary to everything your parents believe and have taught you to believe, then you might proudly assume that you are a rebel, living life on your terms. You might well be living life on your own terms, but I'm not so sure that your form of rebellion makes you as special as you might think you are or even classify you as a true rebel. Rather, it makes you "just like everybody else," lost in a sea of sameness and mediocrity.
According to Dictionary.com, a rebel is defined as "1.a person who refuses allegiance to, resists, or rises in arms against the government or ruler of his or her country. 2.a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition." Yet, as far as I can tell, most teenagers are not resisting the control or tradition of their government or ruler, or better put, their generation or peer group. They are sucked into the same cultural activities as the rest of their peers, controlled by unhealthy addictions, risky behaviors, and ungodly forms of entertainment, all because they are afraid to rebel against the norm and dare to take a stand for something better.
If you want to be special and stand out in your generation, then dare to be a righteous rebel, modeling your life after Jesus Christ, who himself was considered to be a true rebel. He was in this world, but not of it, and he calls us to do the same. The apostle Peter urges us "as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul" (1 Peter 2:11, NIV). Are you willing to become a righteous rebel and walk in truth and holiness like Jesus himself?
Don't be like everyone else you know. Sin is a one-way street that leads straight to the pit. Rather, be better than everyone you know by choosing to walk in truth, shine the light, and share the love of Jesus with those around you. You will never find satisfaction in the things of this world. Friends and lovers will disappoint you, possessions with satisfy you only so long, and addictive substances will only destroy you. There is a better way, the only true way to lasting fulfillment, joy, and happiness, and that is through a relationship with Jesus Christ. He is the one Friend who will never disappoint you, make you feel bad about yourself, or cast you aside. He loves you unconditionally, so much that he willingly died on the cross to save you from your sins (John 3:16).
If you want to know more, or would like me to pray for you, please email me at deedeewike@bellsouth.net or message me on Facebook.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Monday, March 8, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friends are Fickle -- They'll Put You in a Pickle!
Relationships are tricky for even the most mature adults I know. I can imagine that they trickier still for today's generation of young people. Yet healthy relationships are SO important, particularly in the turbulent teenage years. How does one even know what a healthy relationship is?
Consider your friends. What kind of people do you hang out with? How much like you are they really? If you a Christian teen, you need to be especially careful to spend most of your social time with peers that are heaven-minded, not worldly in their thoughts and actions. If you are serious about your relationship with God, you must guard your heart because it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). In other words, if you let down your guard, your heart will be drawn to things that are not God's best for you. You must be careful with your affections in every area of your life--friendships, entertainment, and dating.
God wants you to love everyone, just as he does. But he does not desire for you to spend your time hanging out with friends who have ungodly qualities. It is one thing to casually converse with those who are lost and immoral as you pass them in the hallway or sit by them in class. It is another thing entirely to spend lots of time in the company of individuals whose heart is not set on God or on the things of God. Kids with emotional baggage will only drag you down. You cannot save them; only Jesus can.
A true friend is one who will stick closer than a brother and model the character of God himself. If your friends are talking about you, spreading rumors, or luring you into activities that you know God would disapprove of, then are they really the kind of friends you should be spending your time with?
No one wants to be lonely. We all want to be with people because God created us as relational beings. However, the cost of spending your time in the company of willful sinners (we all sin, but some are habitual sinners) is great. God says we are to be in the world, not of it. That means that while we have to live among those who might not believe, we don't have to take on their character qualities and stoop to their level of immoral behavior. We are to remain holy and pure, even as Christ is. Even if it takes times of solitude and separation from your friends, know that Jesus is always going to be there for you and he will be enough, if you let him be your very best friend.
Rather than continue hanging out with fickle and foolish friends, ask Jesus to send you friends who love him as much as you do. If you honor him, he will honor you.
Consider your friends. What kind of people do you hang out with? How much like you are they really? If you a Christian teen, you need to be especially careful to spend most of your social time with peers that are heaven-minded, not worldly in their thoughts and actions. If you are serious about your relationship with God, you must guard your heart because it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). In other words, if you let down your guard, your heart will be drawn to things that are not God's best for you. You must be careful with your affections in every area of your life--friendships, entertainment, and dating.
God wants you to love everyone, just as he does. But he does not desire for you to spend your time hanging out with friends who have ungodly qualities. It is one thing to casually converse with those who are lost and immoral as you pass them in the hallway or sit by them in class. It is another thing entirely to spend lots of time in the company of individuals whose heart is not set on God or on the things of God. Kids with emotional baggage will only drag you down. You cannot save them; only Jesus can.
A true friend is one who will stick closer than a brother and model the character of God himself. If your friends are talking about you, spreading rumors, or luring you into activities that you know God would disapprove of, then are they really the kind of friends you should be spending your time with?
No one wants to be lonely. We all want to be with people because God created us as relational beings. However, the cost of spending your time in the company of willful sinners (we all sin, but some are habitual sinners) is great. God says we are to be in the world, not of it. That means that while we have to live among those who might not believe, we don't have to take on their character qualities and stoop to their level of immoral behavior. We are to remain holy and pure, even as Christ is. Even if it takes times of solitude and separation from your friends, know that Jesus is always going to be there for you and he will be enough, if you let him be your very best friend.
Rather than continue hanging out with fickle and foolish friends, ask Jesus to send you friends who love him as much as you do. If you honor him, he will honor you.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Don't Kiss and Tell
One of the problems with inappropriate sexual conduct is that nothing you do remains a secret for long. If you kiss a sweetheart, that's one thing. No one really cares much about a kiss. But if you go a little too far (and you know how far "too far" is!), then be prepared for the shock waves of scandal to spread across the Internet and through cellular air space as your so-called friends broadcast your shameful behavior to everyone you know, and then some!
The Bible teaches us that sex outside of the marriage relationship is sin. Not only is it sin against the person with whom you are engaged in inappropriate sexual behavior, but it is sin against your own body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you (1 Corinthians 6:19). As Christians, we grow up knowing that sex with anyone other than our married partner is wrong, but we are faced with the same sexual temptations that unbelievers face. However, the Spirit of God which lives within us gives us the power to abstain from and resist those strong sexual urges that cause so much pain. The Spirit gives us power to resist, but we must use our God-given right to choose--to choose to do the right thing rather than the wrong thing.
The Message translation does a beautiful job of explaining the problems with sexual sin. First Corinthians 6:16-20 tells us:
There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
Young person, what you may see as irresistible temporary pleasure will cost you dearly in the long run. You have been taught right from wrong, but what your parents and your Sunday school teachers haven't told you is how high a price you will pay for giving yourself away to a boyfriend or girlfriend rather than saving yourself for your spouse. Not only do you run the risk of an unwanted pregnancy or the likelihood that you will contract a sexually-transmitted disease, but you also risk taking on the heavy emotional baggage of guilt and shame that will beat you down for years to come. Premarital sex is not worth the risk or the loss of a godly reputation.
God is certainly willing to forgive any who repent and ask forgiveness for sexual sin. But there are no guarantees that he will protect you from devastating consequences if you continue to compromise yourself sexually. Be holy as he is holy. If you have already lost your virginity, ask his forgiveness and mercy, and pray for the strength to remain pure until the day you marry the special guy or gal he has picked out for you. The temptation to sin in the area of sexual behavior is strong, but the Holy Spirit who lives within you gives you all the power you need to stand strong and remain pure.
"You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19b-20, NIV).
The Bible teaches us that sex outside of the marriage relationship is sin. Not only is it sin against the person with whom you are engaged in inappropriate sexual behavior, but it is sin against your own body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you (1 Corinthians 6:19). As Christians, we grow up knowing that sex with anyone other than our married partner is wrong, but we are faced with the same sexual temptations that unbelievers face. However, the Spirit of God which lives within us gives us the power to abstain from and resist those strong sexual urges that cause so much pain. The Spirit gives us power to resist, but we must use our God-given right to choose--to choose to do the right thing rather than the wrong thing.
The Message translation does a beautiful job of explaining the problems with sexual sin. First Corinthians 6:16-20 tells us:
There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
Young person, what you may see as irresistible temporary pleasure will cost you dearly in the long run. You have been taught right from wrong, but what your parents and your Sunday school teachers haven't told you is how high a price you will pay for giving yourself away to a boyfriend or girlfriend rather than saving yourself for your spouse. Not only do you run the risk of an unwanted pregnancy or the likelihood that you will contract a sexually-transmitted disease, but you also risk taking on the heavy emotional baggage of guilt and shame that will beat you down for years to come. Premarital sex is not worth the risk or the loss of a godly reputation.
God is certainly willing to forgive any who repent and ask forgiveness for sexual sin. But there are no guarantees that he will protect you from devastating consequences if you continue to compromise yourself sexually. Be holy as he is holy. If you have already lost your virginity, ask his forgiveness and mercy, and pray for the strength to remain pure until the day you marry the special guy or gal he has picked out for you. The temptation to sin in the area of sexual behavior is strong, but the Holy Spirit who lives within you gives you all the power you need to stand strong and remain pure.
"You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19b-20, NIV).
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Control Freaks
For me as a mom, one of the greatest joys in life is to sit and converse with my teenage son. There are very few subjects that are off-limits. Sometimes we agree and talk peaceably with one another and other times the gloves come off and we find ourselves engaged in a heated debate. At those times, our controlling personalities step into the ring for a round of heavy boxing.
It is hard to win an argument or accomplish much of anything when both parties are control freaks. Chris and I both recognize that, but there are many teens and their parents who don't realize that sometimes the core issue in their arguments is a matter of control. The Bible talks about the issue of quarreling and controlling personalities in James 4:1-3: "Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way." (The Message)
As a teenager, you need to understand that your parents are not trying to control your lives by threatening consequences if you don't fulfill certain obligations. They are trying to teach you responsibility and often have to resort to the same tactics you use in order to gain your cooperation. They were teenagers once and they didn't like, any more than you do, having to do chores, watch younger siblings, or help a neighbor. Yet they did those things because their parents asked them to, and as a result they grew up with a sense of responsibility and moral consciousness.
Parents aren't out to manipulate you in order to get their own way. But because of their love for you, they must do the hard work of teaching you responsibility and discipline so that you will grow up able to face the "real world" and be a successful adult capable of getting along with others and doing things God's way rather than the world's way. Rather than constantly fight with your parents, try putting a little more effort into heeding their advice, obeying their rules, and doing what they ask of you. You will find it easier for everyone in the long run, and a whole lot less tiring and aggravating, if you will go with the flow rather than swim against the tide.
It is hard to win an argument or accomplish much of anything when both parties are control freaks. Chris and I both recognize that, but there are many teens and their parents who don't realize that sometimes the core issue in their arguments is a matter of control. The Bible talks about the issue of quarreling and controlling personalities in James 4:1-3: "Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way." (The Message)
As a teenager, you need to understand that your parents are not trying to control your lives by threatening consequences if you don't fulfill certain obligations. They are trying to teach you responsibility and often have to resort to the same tactics you use in order to gain your cooperation. They were teenagers once and they didn't like, any more than you do, having to do chores, watch younger siblings, or help a neighbor. Yet they did those things because their parents asked them to, and as a result they grew up with a sense of responsibility and moral consciousness.
Parents aren't out to manipulate you in order to get their own way. But because of their love for you, they must do the hard work of teaching you responsibility and discipline so that you will grow up able to face the "real world" and be a successful adult capable of getting along with others and doing things God's way rather than the world's way. Rather than constantly fight with your parents, try putting a little more effort into heeding their advice, obeying their rules, and doing what they ask of you. You will find it easier for everyone in the long run, and a whole lot less tiring and aggravating, if you will go with the flow rather than swim against the tide.
Friday, October 30, 2009
"I'm Bored"
Why is it that every time I log onto Facebook some teenager has put in a status update which says, "I'm bored"? Even my son is guilty of that on occasion, and I have to wonder why boredom is such a problem for today's youth. Of course, he is quick to tell me that saying "I'm bored" doesn't really mean, "I'm bored." Whatever!
Another mom we know suggested praying about his boredom, and I think she's truly onto something. When we say we're bored, we are making ourselves the center of the problem. After all, if we aren't doing what we want to do, life just doesn't seem quite interesting enough to keep our attention. Isn't it strange that none of the adults I know go around professing to be bored? Hmmm. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
I believe the key to conquering boredom is to begin living for someone other than yourself. The Bible says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). The Message translates the same verse this way: "Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."
Next time you are suffering from a case of boredom, change your focus. Instead of complaining about having nothing to do, find something to do for someone else. By making their life a little more enjoyable, you will inadvertently create your own sense of well-being and enjoyment.
Another mom we know suggested praying about his boredom, and I think she's truly onto something. When we say we're bored, we are making ourselves the center of the problem. After all, if we aren't doing what we want to do, life just doesn't seem quite interesting enough to keep our attention. Isn't it strange that none of the adults I know go around professing to be bored? Hmmm. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
I believe the key to conquering boredom is to begin living for someone other than yourself. The Bible says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). The Message translates the same verse this way: "Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."
Next time you are suffering from a case of boredom, change your focus. Instead of complaining about having nothing to do, find something to do for someone else. By making their life a little more enjoyable, you will inadvertently create your own sense of well-being and enjoyment.
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