There is a lot of talk about the drama, self-centeredness, and sense of entitlement that characterizes the teenagers of today. As the parent of two teens, I am acutely aware of the emotional baggage and family dysfunction that many of their friends deal with every day. My heart breaks for kids from broken homes or those who are left to fend for themselves because Mom and Dad are too caught up in their own work or the extracurricular activities of their children that personal love and attention get lost in the mix. It is a recipe for emotional and social disaster, and a tendency I myself have to guard against in a world that become increasingly demanding of my own time and resources.
Kids just want to be loved and understood. Sadly, many of them also want to fix what is broken in the lives of their friends. In doing so they get caught in the crossfire as a result of taking on someone else's emotional baggage. To them -- to you -- I want to say, "You can't fix other people." Don't try. Don't lose yourself trying to make things better for someone else. Be wise. Set boundaries. Know when you're in over your head. Most importantly, stop trying to be what God never intended -- the savior of your generation!
There is only one Savior, only one who can fix the broken hearts and lives of your generation. You can't; only He can.
Rather than try to fix what is wrong with your friends, let God fix what is wrong with you. You aren't perfect either. When you let God do his work in you and pray from a heart that is pure, things begin to change. You change. You begin to pray that your friends will see the change in you and begin to change themselves.
Life is hard enough without you taking on the weight of your friends' problems. Let God do his job, in your life and in theirs. If you really care about your friends, let God have his way in your life and stop trying to have your way in theirs. Be a friend. Set boundaries. Give God his rightful place and he will give you peace.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friends are Fickle -- They'll Put You in a Pickle!
Relationships are tricky for even the most mature adults I know. I can imagine that they trickier still for today's generation of young people. Yet healthy relationships are SO important, particularly in the turbulent teenage years. How does one even know what a healthy relationship is?
Consider your friends. What kind of people do you hang out with? How much like you are they really? If you a Christian teen, you need to be especially careful to spend most of your social time with peers that are heaven-minded, not worldly in their thoughts and actions. If you are serious about your relationship with God, you must guard your heart because it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). In other words, if you let down your guard, your heart will be drawn to things that are not God's best for you. You must be careful with your affections in every area of your life--friendships, entertainment, and dating.
God wants you to love everyone, just as he does. But he does not desire for you to spend your time hanging out with friends who have ungodly qualities. It is one thing to casually converse with those who are lost and immoral as you pass them in the hallway or sit by them in class. It is another thing entirely to spend lots of time in the company of individuals whose heart is not set on God or on the things of God. Kids with emotional baggage will only drag you down. You cannot save them; only Jesus can.
A true friend is one who will stick closer than a brother and model the character of God himself. If your friends are talking about you, spreading rumors, or luring you into activities that you know God would disapprove of, then are they really the kind of friends you should be spending your time with?
No one wants to be lonely. We all want to be with people because God created us as relational beings. However, the cost of spending your time in the company of willful sinners (we all sin, but some are habitual sinners) is great. God says we are to be in the world, not of it. That means that while we have to live among those who might not believe, we don't have to take on their character qualities and stoop to their level of immoral behavior. We are to remain holy and pure, even as Christ is. Even if it takes times of solitude and separation from your friends, know that Jesus is always going to be there for you and he will be enough, if you let him be your very best friend.
Rather than continue hanging out with fickle and foolish friends, ask Jesus to send you friends who love him as much as you do. If you honor him, he will honor you.
Consider your friends. What kind of people do you hang out with? How much like you are they really? If you a Christian teen, you need to be especially careful to spend most of your social time with peers that are heaven-minded, not worldly in their thoughts and actions. If you are serious about your relationship with God, you must guard your heart because it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). In other words, if you let down your guard, your heart will be drawn to things that are not God's best for you. You must be careful with your affections in every area of your life--friendships, entertainment, and dating.
God wants you to love everyone, just as he does. But he does not desire for you to spend your time hanging out with friends who have ungodly qualities. It is one thing to casually converse with those who are lost and immoral as you pass them in the hallway or sit by them in class. It is another thing entirely to spend lots of time in the company of individuals whose heart is not set on God or on the things of God. Kids with emotional baggage will only drag you down. You cannot save them; only Jesus can.
A true friend is one who will stick closer than a brother and model the character of God himself. If your friends are talking about you, spreading rumors, or luring you into activities that you know God would disapprove of, then are they really the kind of friends you should be spending your time with?
No one wants to be lonely. We all want to be with people because God created us as relational beings. However, the cost of spending your time in the company of willful sinners (we all sin, but some are habitual sinners) is great. God says we are to be in the world, not of it. That means that while we have to live among those who might not believe, we don't have to take on their character qualities and stoop to their level of immoral behavior. We are to remain holy and pure, even as Christ is. Even if it takes times of solitude and separation from your friends, know that Jesus is always going to be there for you and he will be enough, if you let him be your very best friend.
Rather than continue hanging out with fickle and foolish friends, ask Jesus to send you friends who love him as much as you do. If you honor him, he will honor you.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
That's Not Your Suitcase!
Ever since the 9/11 attacks, one of the standard airport security procedures has been that you don't pick up a suitcase that isn't yours. Doing so can threaten your safety and the well-being of those around you.
One of the problems facing today's young people is that in their desperate need to belong, they are often willing to take on the emotional baggage of their friends. This poses a real threat to the spiritual well-being of a young Christian. Rather than helping a troubled friend rise to a higher level of character and spiritual maturity, it often has the opposite effect of dragging the stronger individual down to the level of a wayward friend, where he or she is more likely to fall into sinful, self-destructive behaviors. I myself had that problem as a young adult in more than one relationship. I tended to hang out with friends who were spiritually lost or emotionally needy because of dysfunctional relationships and the hurt they suffered at someone else's hands. Staying in those relationships resulted in some very serious consequences and nearly cost me my life!
If you are a Christian teenager, please hear me clearly. Jesus ministered to those whose character was less than godly, and he spent time with those who clearly were not saved. However, in doing so never did he compromise God's Word, his convictions, or his divine character. You cannot be someone else's Savior; that is Jesus' role. By hanging out with friends of questionable character, you are placing yourself in great danger of taking on the sinful habits and behaviors of those you run with. You cannot bring them up to your level. Only the God can do that. Be wise -- let them carry their own baggage! Better yet, let God carry it!
You will be known by the company you keep, so choose your friends wisely. Understand that Jesus cares for your wayward friends even more than you do. Don't place yourself in a dangerous situation by taking on someone else's baggage. Chances are, you have enough baggage of your own. Commit yourself to the Lord, and pray for your friends. It is not your job to save the ones who are lost. Only Jesus can do that. Yes, pray for them and love them as Jesus would, but let Jesus do his job while you do yours. Your job is to live a holy and godly life (2 Peter 3:16), seek the righteousness of God and his kingdom (Matthew 6:33), and let your light shine rather than be snuffed out by the sin of worldly living (Matthew 5:16).
One of the problems facing today's young people is that in their desperate need to belong, they are often willing to take on the emotional baggage of their friends. This poses a real threat to the spiritual well-being of a young Christian. Rather than helping a troubled friend rise to a higher level of character and spiritual maturity, it often has the opposite effect of dragging the stronger individual down to the level of a wayward friend, where he or she is more likely to fall into sinful, self-destructive behaviors. I myself had that problem as a young adult in more than one relationship. I tended to hang out with friends who were spiritually lost or emotionally needy because of dysfunctional relationships and the hurt they suffered at someone else's hands. Staying in those relationships resulted in some very serious consequences and nearly cost me my life!
If you are a Christian teenager, please hear me clearly. Jesus ministered to those whose character was less than godly, and he spent time with those who clearly were not saved. However, in doing so never did he compromise God's Word, his convictions, or his divine character. You cannot be someone else's Savior; that is Jesus' role. By hanging out with friends of questionable character, you are placing yourself in great danger of taking on the sinful habits and behaviors of those you run with. You cannot bring them up to your level. Only the God can do that. Be wise -- let them carry their own baggage! Better yet, let God carry it!
You will be known by the company you keep, so choose your friends wisely. Understand that Jesus cares for your wayward friends even more than you do. Don't place yourself in a dangerous situation by taking on someone else's baggage. Chances are, you have enough baggage of your own. Commit yourself to the Lord, and pray for your friends. It is not your job to save the ones who are lost. Only Jesus can do that. Yes, pray for them and love them as Jesus would, but let Jesus do his job while you do yours. Your job is to live a holy and godly life (2 Peter 3:16), seek the righteousness of God and his kingdom (Matthew 6:33), and let your light shine rather than be snuffed out by the sin of worldly living (Matthew 5:16).
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