The Day I Stopped Running

Dear (insert your name here),

I've been watching you for many years now as you have continued to chase after things of this world.  You are so tired yet do not realize that the very things you seek will never bring you true joy and contentment.  You figure that the more friends you have, the more parties you attend, the cooler the clothes you wear or the car you drive, the happier you will be. Yet I see you, day in and day out, wearing yourself out and compromising all you know to be true in your efforts to impress others and fill a void that only God can fill.

I was like you once, always on the go and often running with the wrong crowd because I was lonely.  I thought if I worked hard, bought stuff, and became like them that I would be happy.  But the exact opposite happened.  Because I compromised the godly values I had been taught and did things my own way and according to my time table, not God's, I suffered a lot of hurt and hurt a lot of people.  I was miserable because I knew that most of all I hurt God, who sent his son Jesus to die for the sins of people like me.

It took a sexual assault and an embarassing wake-up call from a stranger after a long night of drinking to realize that everything I had tried to fill that God-shaped void had failed.  With self-esteem so low it didn't even register, I became a suicide waiting to happen.  I couldn't look myself in the mirror without feeling sick.  What had I become -- what had I done to myself in the process of trying to fit into a world God never intended me to call my home?

When I hit rock bottom I knew that I had a choice to make -- either continue living a double life by being a good church girl on Sundays and lowering my standards so I would fit in with the world the rest of the week OR completely surrendering my life to the lordship of Jesus, who had died on the cross for my sins.  I had accepted his salvation as a teenager but drifted far from him during my college years and early twenties.  Could I ever recapture the joy of my salvation and receive his forgiveness? If I did choose to surrender myself to him, would he be enough?

The day I stopped running after things of this world and decided to run into the loving embrace of Jesus, everything changed.  He welcomed me back with open arms and has spent every day of the past thirty years fulfilling the promises of his Word to love me, fill me with peace, satisfy my deepest longings, provide for my every need, and restore to me the joy of my salvation.  He has been my strength, my guide, and my very best friend.  The journey with him has been difficult at times, but even in the adversities I have faced he has been faithful and right beside me every single minute. In the hard times he has revealed more of himself to me and taught me time and time again that his grace is sufficient for me.  In Jesus I have finally found my rest and true acceptance.  I have found the love I could never find in another human being.  I have found truth when others have lied to me. I have found true joy and contentment that no amount of money could ever buy.

If you are constantly on the go -- working, socializing, looking for fun no matter what the cost, I urge you to stop running!  Be still and know God.  He is there. He loves you and longs to fill you with the joy and peace this world will never give you.  No matter what you have done to try and fill that God-shaped void in your heart, he will forgive your sin if you will confess and turn from it.  As far as the east is from the west, he will remember your sin no more.  Stop running and start resting in him!

The Best Choice

Dear (insert your name here),

If there is one thing I have learned as a result of my own mistakes when I was your age, it is that God is infinitely more loving and patient with us than we will ever be with one another.  That is his divine nature.  It is not something I understand but something I accept by faith because I have experienced his love and forgiveness.

You have made a lot of mistakes in your young life on this planet, and so have I. Even in my fifties I make lots of poor choices and have to live with the consequences as a result.  But I have placed my trust in God and he helps me every day to make better choices than the day before.  He helps me stand back up when I fall down and gives me wisdom when I need help making decisions about what to do.  My life isn't easy but I have peace because I have given my heart to Jesus and given God permission to do whatever he wants to do with my life.  I am not perfect, but every day I walk a little closer with him and grow in confidence that he will fulfill his promise to take care of me.

Jesus loves you in spite of every bad choice you have made and every sin you have committed.  He loves you so much that he died for your sins so you could spend eternity with him (John 3:16).  Our sins require the death penalty, but Jesus took the nails and died on the cross in our place (Romans 6:23, 3:23-25).  He is the God of second chances and new beginnings, but we have to repent of (turn away from) our sins and follow him by living in obedience to his Word.

It's not too late to turn your life around and let God repair the broken pieces.  It's what he does best!  None of the bad things in your life are wasted because he promises to work all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

God has given us all free will and the ability to choose what we will do and whom we will follow.  You can choose to continue controlling your own destiny and living life on your own terms and hope that everything works out OK eventually.  Or, you can choose to turn away from the things you know are wrong and harmful, turn to his Word for guidance, and surrender your life to Jesus, knowing with confidence that he will work it all out according to his promises.

Life on this planet will never be easy, but I can promise you that it will be far better if you invite Jesus into the equation by asking him into your heart.  He will show you the way when you need direction, comfort and provide for you as no one else can, and replace the broken pieces of your life with his peace -- if you will choose to let him.  Please choose him!  I can assure you that it will be the best choice you ever make.

Praying for you,

Dee Dee

You Can't Fix Other People

There is a lot of talk about the drama, self-centeredness, and sense of entitlement that characterizes the teenagers of today.  As the parent of two teens, I am acutely aware of the emotional baggage and family dysfunction that many of their friends deal with every day.   My heart breaks for kids from broken homes or those who are left to fend for themselves because Mom and Dad are too caught up in their own work or the extracurricular activities of their children that personal love and attention get lost in the mix.  It is a recipe for emotional and social disaster, and a tendency I myself have to guard against in a world that become increasingly demanding of my own time and resources.

Kids just want to be loved and understood.  Sadly, many of them also want to fix what is broken in the lives of their friends.  In doing so they get caught in the crossfire as a result of taking on someone else's emotional baggage.  To them -- to you -- I want to say, "You can't fix other people."  Don't try.  Don't lose yourself trying to make things better for someone else.  Be wise.  Set boundaries.  Know when you're in over your head.  Most importantly, stop trying to be what God never intended -- the savior of your generation! 

There is only one Savior, only one who can fix the broken hearts and lives of your generation.  You can't; only He can.

Rather than try to fix what is wrong with your friends, let God fix what is wrong with you.  You aren't perfect either.  When you let God do his work in you and pray from a heart that is pure, things begin to change.  You change.  You begin to pray that your friends will see the change in you and begin to change themselves.

Life is hard enough without you taking on the weight of your friends' problems.  Let God do his job, in your life and in theirs.  If you really care about your friends, let God have his way in your life and stop trying to have your way in theirs.  Be a friend.  Set boundaries.  Give God his rightful place and he will give you peace.

Wanna Trade Places?

Dear disgruntled teen,

As a parent of teens, I want to let you know that we fully understand your position on parents. Depending on your age and your particular family dynamics, you either love us or hate us on any given day of the week.  You either respect us for the love we pour into your lives and appreciate the blessings God has given you, or you resent us for our efforts to grow you into responsible adults and whine because in our wisdom we do not give you every thing or privilege you somehow feel you "deserve."  You want your life to be all about you, a life of ease and unbridled pleasure, yet fail to understand that life simply does not work that way.  As much as we love you, you are not the center of the universe!  None of us are.  For just one day, we would like to trade places so you can see just how challenging our job is as parents of teenagers!

Most parents I know, even those who are not of the Christian faith, have the same basic desire to raise good kids who will grow up to be men and women of character making a meaningful contribution to our society.  We do everything in our power to give you all the things you need to be healthy and successful.  Often, to our own detriment and in order to "keep the peace" with you, we also give you things you want, which we may or may not be able to afford to do -- things which are not always in your best interest.

But for those of us parents who are believers and followers of Christ, our job is especially difficult.  You see, we parent you not according to the world's rules but according to God's rules.  We parent you with the goal of raising not only good kids, but godly kids who realize that Christianity is not about being religious and having all the fun stripped from life, but rather that it is a relationship with Jesus.  You are so afraid that if you follow Christ you will have to give up all your sinful ways and that life will be no fun.  What you fail to realize, however, is that when you are truly engaged in a personal relationship with Jesus, you will want to lay aside those things that would displease him, simply because you love him. 

As parents, we are outnumbered by social media, ungodly influences, and a corrupt society, but we are determined to somehow help you see that a relationship with Jesus far surpasses anything the world can offer you.  Our passion comes from our own experience.  You see, we were once rebellious teens, too.  We have seen the effects of our own sinful choices and we want so much for you to avoid anything that would keep you out of fellowship with God.  Yet we are ridiculed and persecuted by the very ones we love most, our own children.  We are cursed at, argued with, and blatantly disrespected simply for trying to help you find a better way of living and the only lasting fulfillment there is, through a relationship with Jesus.

We hear the same mantra all the time:  "It's really not a big deal."  "All my friends are doing it."  "But I'm 18 now.  I can do anything I want to do!"  The list goes on and on.  But the reality is that man fell from God's grace eons ago and that even though the entire world lives according to hell's standards, we as Christians should now, more than ever, stand for is right in the sight of God, no matter how unpopular or uncool that may seem.  Instead of buying into Satan's subtle lies that the latest iPhone, a girlfriend, or a designer drug will satisfy you, you need to realize that those are idols (counterfeit gods) which will never satisfy the longing that only God can fill. 

If you are a believing teenager, you can either have a great deal of influence among your peers or be negatively influenced by them.  You know in your heart that you are saved because one day you asked Jesus into your heart.  But you are under the mistaken impression that if you live in rebellion as most of your peers do, you might somehow reach them for Christ.  That will never happen.  Instead just the opposite will -- they will drag you down into such depths of depravity that before you know it, you will not feel worthy to even utter the name of Jesus, let alone walk into a church, sing a worship song, or understand that he loves you no matter what you do.  Your self-esteem will hit rock bottom and you will hate even yourself.  You will believe that God could never possibly love you.  I know that for a fact because it happened to me.

For just one day, I wish you could step into the shoes of your parents and understand how heartbreaking it is for us to see our children robbed of their royal inheritance (you are a child of the King) by the enemy who roams the earth seeking to devour God's children.   Satan is not for you.  He wants to destroy you.  I also wish you could realize how much it hurts to be ridiculed by our own flesh and blood simply because we want God's best for you.  We are not the enemy; Satan is.  And we are not fighting against you, but rather against him.  We will fight to the death -- our own death -- if that is what it takes to ensure that Satan is defeated in his efforts to steal you away from God.

It is our prayer that you will one day come back to the faith you had the day you asked Christ into your heart and enjoy the abundant life that is promised to those who abide in relationship with him.  There is no greater joy than walking with him obediently and no greater peace than knowing he is and always will be with you and for you.  God's laws were not written to restrict you, but to protect you.

With love,

A determined parent



Copyright © 2012 by Dee Dee Wike.  All rights reserved.
www.deedeewike.com

The Untold Story of the Prodigal’s Mother

Hopeless. In a word, that is exactly how she must have felt as her son disappeared over the horizon with not so much as a backward glance over his shoulder. How had their relationship managed to deteriorate so badly? It seemed only days ago that they had sat beside one another in the breeze of a warm summer evening, watching the sun set over the pasture below as the sheep bleated to one another after a long day of lazy grazing.

She remembered the day he was born. After months of waiting and dreaming of the great things her son would accomplish, he arrived just before the bitter chill of winter set in. The harvest had been plentiful that year and there was much to celebrate. Now just days after his birth, the family had gathered around a table laden with the earth’s richest fares, rejoicing not only in God’s bountiful blessings but also in the new life asleep in his mother’s arms.

The first few months were joyful ones for her as she nursed her little one and cradled him often. What special moments they had together! Always dreaming of the special plans God had for him, she prayed for the child, as he lay nestled at her breast, hopeful that Jehovah would capture the heart of her little boy and grow him into a great man of God. Remembering the stories of Moses, Abraham, Joseph, and David, her imagination ran wild with thoughts of all the ways God might use him to reveal the truth regarding His own Son, the Messiah. Surely God’s hand would be with her son all the days of his life, as he followed in the footsteps of his parents and older brother by living a life of dedicated service to their God.

Her son, like so many other young boys his age, was taught the stories of the patriarchs, the apostles, and the prophets who had foretold the coming of the Messiah. He knew of the miracles Jesus had performed. But there were those in the temple who preached a different message, who used their position and influence to deceive many who believed. Before long, questions began to swirl around in his mind, confusing him and weakening his faith. What if all those stories about God were not true?

When her son began voicing some of those questions and spending his time with those known to hold different beliefs from theirs, she became alarmed. She prayed. She spoke the truth. She could tell her son was slipping away from them, changing somehow, but there was little she could do to stop what was happening. Her own frustrations and fears tormented her. Their relationship, once so close and endearing, became one of strain and conflict. Although the truths of what he had been taught had not changed, his beliefs had, and she was losing the battle.

As her son challenged the boundaries of God’s commands and his parents’ convictions, feelings of love between the son and his parents gave way to anger and resentment toward them. Frustrated by her own inability to get through to him, the mother became despondent and depressed, feeling as though somehow she had failed him and the God who had entrusted her with this young man’s life. It was more than she could bear.

As his rebellious attitude and restlessness escalated, she knew it was inevitable that one day her son would leave. How she had prayed that God would somehow soften his heart and rekindle it with passion for God and His truth! But that day never came. Having enough of religious traditions and the restrictions he felt they imposed on his individuality, he asked for his inheritance, packed up his belongings, and set out in search of freedom—freedom from religious mores, outlandish beliefs, and a holiness that was impossible for any man to attain. Surely the pastures of a foreign land would be greener than the ones he had called home.

The day he left was a day of great pain, yet relief of sorts for his mother, who had been subjected to his tirades and the unending questions by those who surely blamed her for the disgraceful direction his life had taken. Because the father was away herding sheep much of the time, he could not appreciate the depth of frustration and pain the mother had suffered as she watched her son pull away from them, day by day. Although the son’s decision to leave came as no surprise to her, the father was left stunned by his son’s insistence that he be given his share of the inheritance. It was clear that he had no intention of returning home—ever.

The older son, seething with resentment, had watched as his younger brother heaped insults and disrespect on his parents for months. He had been there to comfort his mother one time too many. For him, this day had not come too quickly. He was glad to see his brother go, although he couldn’t stand the fact that his father had given that undeserving wretch one cent of their inheritance!

In the days that followed, life slowly returned to normal for the father and older brother, but the mother’s broken heart seemed to hemorrhage within, draining her of all her energy and the desire to do anything. She fell into a deep depression, always wondering where her son was, how he was getting along, and fearing the worst. Her prayers, like her tears, flowed unceasingly.

The father, who had always gotten along well with him, couldn’t understand how the younger son had become so selfish and discontent. Yet, he was of age to be on his own. What choice had either parent except to let him go find himself in a distant land?

The younger son left the comfort, safety, and love of his family in search of happiness and independence. While he was away, he squandered his fortune in wild living, even spending part of his inheritance on prostitutes in an effort to satisfy his deep desire for love and fulfillment. Without the watchful eye and concern of his loving parents keeping tabs on him, he could do as he pleased, and he did. One day, though, when the money had run out and the only thing filling his stomach was hunger pain, he realized that he had acted foolishly. Homeless and desperate enough to eat the pods the pigs were being fed, he began to long for the comforts of home. Even his father’s servants lived better than he. They were clothed, fed, and sheltered by a loving master who appreciated and rewarded their good service to him. How could the son have been so foolish as to think he could make it without the love and support of his family?

As he lay out under the stars feeling smaller than the blades of grass beneath him, he looked toward heaven and began praying to the One who had watched over him through all his months of wandering. Deep in his heart he knew he had sinned. All the wine, women, and worldly goods that had consumed his inheritance failed to fill that empty place inside. His physical hunger was only symptomatic of a deeper spiritual hunger that had somehow been suppressed all these months. In the silence of that starry night, far from home, the son began confessing sin after sin. As the weight of his sins slipped from his shoulders, his heart became tender toward his heavenly Father and toward the earthly family he had left behind so many months before. He knew what he had to do.

As the sun dawned fresh upon a glistening meadow, he rose and turned toward home. Not knowing how he might be received, he resolved to go humbly to his father, ask his forgiveness, and settle for being received and treated as one of the hired servants. After several days’ travel, the son anxiously topped the hill overlooking his father’s sheep pasture just as the sun was beginning to set. His father, looking longingly toward the setting sun, saw a familiar silhouette on the horizon. Could it possibly be?

Inside their home the mother poured a pitcher of water drawn from a nearby well. As water splashed from the pail onto the table, the drops mixed with her tears. Would she ever see her son again? With each passing day her hope dimmed like the stars at sunrise. Yet she could never completely abandon the hope of seeing her son once more. As she stood there with her eyes closed, relishing memories of a sweet little boy’s laughter, she was aroused by the sound of music and laughter from outside the house. Curious, she went to the window and looked out, hardly believing what her eyes beheld.

Silhouetted in the glow of the sunset, with servants all around, stood the father and the prodigal in the clutches of a warm embrace. Suddenly the servants scurried in different directions, carrying out the father’s orders to kill the fattened calf, prepare a feast, and bring the ring and robe to make the son’s homecoming official.

As the older brother stood glaring in the shadows, the mother knew that the conflict was far from over. The younger son had returned home seeking forgiveness, which she knew the older son would be reluctant to extend. Her prayers of thankfulness for the safe return of the lost son quickly turned to prayers for reconciliation and healing as she realized she now faced a perhaps more difficult challenge, restoring peace between these two rivals. For now, though, she would simply rejoice in the return of her son and her hope.

Vicious Cycle

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members." -- Romans 7:21-23

Often we hear sin referred to as a vicious cycle, and it is. Each of us has at least one area of sin we cannot quite seem to master. For some, it is overeating or overspending. Others may have problems with sexual sin or pride. Whatever it may be, without God's help it is impossible to break the vicious cycle of sin in our lives. Even if we manage to free ourselves from sin’s shackles, often we live for years with the consequences of our prior sinful actions.

Paul's words to the Christians living in Rome capture the essence of the internal struggle with sin we sometimes face. Even as I write this, my heart is broken over the sin of indebtedness and the effect the consequences of that sin continue to have over my family, my ministry, and every other aspect of my life. God knows the burden that I carry, the desire I have to pay off my debt and move beyond it, and the prayer of my heart that my children won't follow in my footsteps in the area of financial stewardship. This is one of those lessons I have had to learn the hard way, and I pray that they are learning, too.

What is your vicious cycle? What is that one area of sin that is always right behind you, no matter how hard you try to outrun it? Take heart. God understands what you're up against. He knows that like Paul, we are all in a war of wills -- God's righteous will vs our own sinful will -- and that sometimes we lose a battle here and there because we are weak. The good news is that God's grace is sufficient for each us, for his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12: 9) "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set [us] free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1-2). Jesus has already won the victory over sin and death. Satan may accuse, but he can never condemn us because Christ paid our sin debt in full on the cross of Calvary!

A Leap of Faith -- New Ministry Launched

Please click here to read more about my leap of faith into ministry and to learn how you can partner with me in this exciting new endeavor!