Wanna Trade Places?

Dear disgruntled teen,

As a parent of teens, I want to let you know that we fully understand your position on parents. Depending on your age and your particular family dynamics, you either love us or hate us on any given day of the week.  You either respect us for the love we pour into your lives and appreciate the blessings God has given you, or you resent us for our efforts to grow you into responsible adults and whine because in our wisdom we do not give you every thing or privilege you somehow feel you "deserve."  You want your life to be all about you, a life of ease and unbridled pleasure, yet fail to understand that life simply does not work that way.  As much as we love you, you are not the center of the universe!  None of us are.  For just one day, we would like to trade places so you can see just how challenging our job is as parents of teenagers!

Most parents I know, even those who are not of the Christian faith, have the same basic desire to raise good kids who will grow up to be men and women of character making a meaningful contribution to our society.  We do everything in our power to give you all the things you need to be healthy and successful.  Often, to our own detriment and in order to "keep the peace" with you, we also give you things you want, which we may or may not be able to afford to do -- things which are not always in your best interest.

But for those of us parents who are believers and followers of Christ, our job is especially difficult.  You see, we parent you not according to the world's rules but according to God's rules.  We parent you with the goal of raising not only good kids, but godly kids who realize that Christianity is not about being religious and having all the fun stripped from life, but rather that it is a relationship with Jesus.  You are so afraid that if you follow Christ you will have to give up all your sinful ways and that life will be no fun.  What you fail to realize, however, is that when you are truly engaged in a personal relationship with Jesus, you will want to lay aside those things that would displease him, simply because you love him. 

As parents, we are outnumbered by social media, ungodly influences, and a corrupt society, but we are determined to somehow help you see that a relationship with Jesus far surpasses anything the world can offer you.  Our passion comes from our own experience.  You see, we were once rebellious teens, too.  We have seen the effects of our own sinful choices and we want so much for you to avoid anything that would keep you out of fellowship with God.  Yet we are ridiculed and persecuted by the very ones we love most, our own children.  We are cursed at, argued with, and blatantly disrespected simply for trying to help you find a better way of living and the only lasting fulfillment there is, through a relationship with Jesus.

We hear the same mantra all the time:  "It's really not a big deal."  "All my friends are doing it."  "But I'm 18 now.  I can do anything I want to do!"  The list goes on and on.  But the reality is that man fell from God's grace eons ago and that even though the entire world lives according to hell's standards, we as Christians should now, more than ever, stand for is right in the sight of God, no matter how unpopular or uncool that may seem.  Instead of buying into Satan's subtle lies that the latest iPhone, a girlfriend, or a designer drug will satisfy you, you need to realize that those are idols (counterfeit gods) which will never satisfy the longing that only God can fill. 

If you are a believing teenager, you can either have a great deal of influence among your peers or be negatively influenced by them.  You know in your heart that you are saved because one day you asked Jesus into your heart.  But you are under the mistaken impression that if you live in rebellion as most of your peers do, you might somehow reach them for Christ.  That will never happen.  Instead just the opposite will -- they will drag you down into such depths of depravity that before you know it, you will not feel worthy to even utter the name of Jesus, let alone walk into a church, sing a worship song, or understand that he loves you no matter what you do.  Your self-esteem will hit rock bottom and you will hate even yourself.  You will believe that God could never possibly love you.  I know that for a fact because it happened to me.

For just one day, I wish you could step into the shoes of your parents and understand how heartbreaking it is for us to see our children robbed of their royal inheritance (you are a child of the King) by the enemy who roams the earth seeking to devour God's children.   Satan is not for you.  He wants to destroy you.  I also wish you could realize how much it hurts to be ridiculed by our own flesh and blood simply because we want God's best for you.  We are not the enemy; Satan is.  And we are not fighting against you, but rather against him.  We will fight to the death -- our own death -- if that is what it takes to ensure that Satan is defeated in his efforts to steal you away from God.

It is our prayer that you will one day come back to the faith you had the day you asked Christ into your heart and enjoy the abundant life that is promised to those who abide in relationship with him.  There is no greater joy than walking with him obediently and no greater peace than knowing he is and always will be with you and for you.  God's laws were not written to restrict you, but to protect you.

With love,

A determined parent



Copyright © 2012 by Dee Dee Wike.  All rights reserved.
www.deedeewike.com

The Untold Story of the Prodigal’s Mother

Hopeless. In a word, that is exactly how she must have felt as her son disappeared over the horizon with not so much as a backward glance over his shoulder. How had their relationship managed to deteriorate so badly? It seemed only days ago that they had sat beside one another in the breeze of a warm summer evening, watching the sun set over the pasture below as the sheep bleated to one another after a long day of lazy grazing.

She remembered the day he was born. After months of waiting and dreaming of the great things her son would accomplish, he arrived just before the bitter chill of winter set in. The harvest had been plentiful that year and there was much to celebrate. Now just days after his birth, the family had gathered around a table laden with the earth’s richest fares, rejoicing not only in God’s bountiful blessings but also in the new life asleep in his mother’s arms.

The first few months were joyful ones for her as she nursed her little one and cradled him often. What special moments they had together! Always dreaming of the special plans God had for him, she prayed for the child, as he lay nestled at her breast, hopeful that Jehovah would capture the heart of her little boy and grow him into a great man of God. Remembering the stories of Moses, Abraham, Joseph, and David, her imagination ran wild with thoughts of all the ways God might use him to reveal the truth regarding His own Son, the Messiah. Surely God’s hand would be with her son all the days of his life, as he followed in the footsteps of his parents and older brother by living a life of dedicated service to their God.

Her son, like so many other young boys his age, was taught the stories of the patriarchs, the apostles, and the prophets who had foretold the coming of the Messiah. He knew of the miracles Jesus had performed. But there were those in the temple who preached a different message, who used their position and influence to deceive many who believed. Before long, questions began to swirl around in his mind, confusing him and weakening his faith. What if all those stories about God were not true?

When her son began voicing some of those questions and spending his time with those known to hold different beliefs from theirs, she became alarmed. She prayed. She spoke the truth. She could tell her son was slipping away from them, changing somehow, but there was little she could do to stop what was happening. Her own frustrations and fears tormented her. Their relationship, once so close and endearing, became one of strain and conflict. Although the truths of what he had been taught had not changed, his beliefs had, and she was losing the battle.

As her son challenged the boundaries of God’s commands and his parents’ convictions, feelings of love between the son and his parents gave way to anger and resentment toward them. Frustrated by her own inability to get through to him, the mother became despondent and depressed, feeling as though somehow she had failed him and the God who had entrusted her with this young man’s life. It was more than she could bear.

As his rebellious attitude and restlessness escalated, she knew it was inevitable that one day her son would leave. How she had prayed that God would somehow soften his heart and rekindle it with passion for God and His truth! But that day never came. Having enough of religious traditions and the restrictions he felt they imposed on his individuality, he asked for his inheritance, packed up his belongings, and set out in search of freedom—freedom from religious mores, outlandish beliefs, and a holiness that was impossible for any man to attain. Surely the pastures of a foreign land would be greener than the ones he had called home.

The day he left was a day of great pain, yet relief of sorts for his mother, who had been subjected to his tirades and the unending questions by those who surely blamed her for the disgraceful direction his life had taken. Because the father was away herding sheep much of the time, he could not appreciate the depth of frustration and pain the mother had suffered as she watched her son pull away from them, day by day. Although the son’s decision to leave came as no surprise to her, the father was left stunned by his son’s insistence that he be given his share of the inheritance. It was clear that he had no intention of returning home—ever.

The older son, seething with resentment, had watched as his younger brother heaped insults and disrespect on his parents for months. He had been there to comfort his mother one time too many. For him, this day had not come too quickly. He was glad to see his brother go, although he couldn’t stand the fact that his father had given that undeserving wretch one cent of their inheritance!

In the days that followed, life slowly returned to normal for the father and older brother, but the mother’s broken heart seemed to hemorrhage within, draining her of all her energy and the desire to do anything. She fell into a deep depression, always wondering where her son was, how he was getting along, and fearing the worst. Her prayers, like her tears, flowed unceasingly.

The father, who had always gotten along well with him, couldn’t understand how the younger son had become so selfish and discontent. Yet, he was of age to be on his own. What choice had either parent except to let him go find himself in a distant land?

The younger son left the comfort, safety, and love of his family in search of happiness and independence. While he was away, he squandered his fortune in wild living, even spending part of his inheritance on prostitutes in an effort to satisfy his deep desire for love and fulfillment. Without the watchful eye and concern of his loving parents keeping tabs on him, he could do as he pleased, and he did. One day, though, when the money had run out and the only thing filling his stomach was hunger pain, he realized that he had acted foolishly. Homeless and desperate enough to eat the pods the pigs were being fed, he began to long for the comforts of home. Even his father’s servants lived better than he. They were clothed, fed, and sheltered by a loving master who appreciated and rewarded their good service to him. How could the son have been so foolish as to think he could make it without the love and support of his family?

As he lay out under the stars feeling smaller than the blades of grass beneath him, he looked toward heaven and began praying to the One who had watched over him through all his months of wandering. Deep in his heart he knew he had sinned. All the wine, women, and worldly goods that had consumed his inheritance failed to fill that empty place inside. His physical hunger was only symptomatic of a deeper spiritual hunger that had somehow been suppressed all these months. In the silence of that starry night, far from home, the son began confessing sin after sin. As the weight of his sins slipped from his shoulders, his heart became tender toward his heavenly Father and toward the earthly family he had left behind so many months before. He knew what he had to do.

As the sun dawned fresh upon a glistening meadow, he rose and turned toward home. Not knowing how he might be received, he resolved to go humbly to his father, ask his forgiveness, and settle for being received and treated as one of the hired servants. After several days’ travel, the son anxiously topped the hill overlooking his father’s sheep pasture just as the sun was beginning to set. His father, looking longingly toward the setting sun, saw a familiar silhouette on the horizon. Could it possibly be?

Inside their home the mother poured a pitcher of water drawn from a nearby well. As water splashed from the pail onto the table, the drops mixed with her tears. Would she ever see her son again? With each passing day her hope dimmed like the stars at sunrise. Yet she could never completely abandon the hope of seeing her son once more. As she stood there with her eyes closed, relishing memories of a sweet little boy’s laughter, she was aroused by the sound of music and laughter from outside the house. Curious, she went to the window and looked out, hardly believing what her eyes beheld.

Silhouetted in the glow of the sunset, with servants all around, stood the father and the prodigal in the clutches of a warm embrace. Suddenly the servants scurried in different directions, carrying out the father’s orders to kill the fattened calf, prepare a feast, and bring the ring and robe to make the son’s homecoming official.

As the older brother stood glaring in the shadows, the mother knew that the conflict was far from over. The younger son had returned home seeking forgiveness, which she knew the older son would be reluctant to extend. Her prayers of thankfulness for the safe return of the lost son quickly turned to prayers for reconciliation and healing as she realized she now faced a perhaps more difficult challenge, restoring peace between these two rivals. For now, though, she would simply rejoice in the return of her son and her hope.

Vicious Cycle

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members." -- Romans 7:21-23

Often we hear sin referred to as a vicious cycle, and it is. Each of us has at least one area of sin we cannot quite seem to master. For some, it is overeating or overspending. Others may have problems with sexual sin or pride. Whatever it may be, without God's help it is impossible to break the vicious cycle of sin in our lives. Even if we manage to free ourselves from sin’s shackles, often we live for years with the consequences of our prior sinful actions.

Paul's words to the Christians living in Rome capture the essence of the internal struggle with sin we sometimes face. Even as I write this, my heart is broken over the sin of indebtedness and the effect the consequences of that sin continue to have over my family, my ministry, and every other aspect of my life. God knows the burden that I carry, the desire I have to pay off my debt and move beyond it, and the prayer of my heart that my children won't follow in my footsteps in the area of financial stewardship. This is one of those lessons I have had to learn the hard way, and I pray that they are learning, too.

What is your vicious cycle? What is that one area of sin that is always right behind you, no matter how hard you try to outrun it? Take heart. God understands what you're up against. He knows that like Paul, we are all in a war of wills -- God's righteous will vs our own sinful will -- and that sometimes we lose a battle here and there because we are weak. The good news is that God's grace is sufficient for each us, for his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12: 9) "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set [us] free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1-2). Jesus has already won the victory over sin and death. Satan may accuse, but he can never condemn us because Christ paid our sin debt in full on the cross of Calvary!

A Leap of Faith -- New Ministry Launched

Please click here to read more about my leap of faith into ministry and to learn how you can partner with me in this exciting new endeavor!

Stop That Stinkin' Thinkin'!

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." -- James 1:12

When Sean's music class didn't turn out quite like he expected, he became blinded by his own frustration and lost sight of his goal to play the violin. Despite his love of music, he allowed the intimidation of being in a class of more experienced players to overwhelm him and undermine his determination to learn the instrument. As hard as his teacher and parents tried to reassure him that a little private instruction and practice were all he needed to catch up with the other players and enjoy the class, he was convinced otherwise.

Have you ever found yourself in that kind of frustrating situation, where no amount of reason will change your mind? Why are you so convinced that nothing can make your situation better, or that no one understands? The simple truth of the matter is that there are people who understand completely and who care about you. Even better, God cares about you.

Sometimes things don't work out the way we planned. We feel disappointed, frustrated, and angry. We want to simply give up and take the easy way out. Sure, it would be easier for Sean to drop the class rather than to sacrifice a little free time with friends and put forth the extra effort needed in order to accomplish the goal of playing the violin. But don't you think that he might feel a great sense of pride because he persevered, stepping out of his comfort zone to do something that would give him great joy in the end?

If you are frustrated today, check your attitude and ask God to help you. Maybe the real problem is not that you are out of your comfort zone, but rather you have a severe case of "stinkin' thinkin'." If all you can see is your trouble, despite the advice and encouragement of caring adults or friends, then you need to adjust your attitude, expand your vision, and dare to believe that maybe, just maybe, it is possible to accomplish your goals despite the obstacles. Quit looking for excuses to fail and start looking for reasons to succeed. Either your goal is important to you, or it's not. Stop that stinkin' thinkin' and make up your mind to do something about it!

Above all, pray and trust God to help you. Sometimes He allows difficulties in order to grow and mature us. Life is not going to get any easier. There will always be problems to overcome. Take the obstacles you face and use them as stepping stones to a greater opportunity.

Righteous Rebel

A friend's recent Facebook status update got me to thinking about what it means to be a rebel. If you are a teen whose behavior is contrary to everything your parents believe and have taught you to believe, then you might proudly assume that you are a rebel, living life on your terms. You might well be living life on your own terms, but I'm not so sure that your form of rebellion makes you as special as you might think you are or even classify you as a true rebel. Rather, it makes you "just like everybody else," lost in a sea of sameness and mediocrity.

According to Dictionary.com, a rebel is defined as "1.a person who refuses allegiance to, resists, or rises in arms against the government or ruler of his or her country. 2.a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition." Yet, as far as I can tell, most teenagers are not resisting the control or tradition of their government or ruler, or better put, their generation or peer group. They are sucked into the same cultural activities as the rest of their peers, controlled by unhealthy addictions, risky behaviors, and ungodly forms of entertainment, all because they are afraid to rebel against the norm and dare to take a stand for something better.

If you want to be special and stand out in your generation, then dare to be a righteous rebel, modeling your life after Jesus Christ, who himself was considered to be a true rebel. He was in this world, but not of it, and he calls us to do the same. The apostle Peter urges us "as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul" (1 Peter 2:11, NIV). Are you willing to become a righteous rebel and walk in truth and holiness like Jesus himself?

Don't be like everyone else you know. Sin is a one-way street that leads straight to the pit. Rather, be better than everyone you know by choosing to walk in truth, shine the light, and share the love of Jesus with those around you. You will never find satisfaction in the things of this world. Friends and lovers will disappoint you, possessions with satisfy you only so long, and addictive substances will only destroy you. There is a better way, the only true way to lasting fulfillment, joy, and happiness, and that is through a relationship with Jesus Christ. He is the one Friend who will never disappoint you, make you feel bad about yourself, or cast you aside. He loves you unconditionally, so much that he willingly died on the cross to save you from your sins (John 3:16).

If you want to know more, or would like me to pray for you, please email me at deedeewike@bellsouth.net or message me on Facebook.

The Great Kid Within

"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -- Galatians 6:9

I am not one to remember lines from movies, but one that keeps playing over and over in my mind is Mufasa's statement to his young cub in Disney's "The Lion King." It is a moment of revelation which could have saved this prince of the pride a lot of trouble and heartache, if only he had taken to heart his father's words: "Simba, you are more than you have become."

As I watch my own teenager struggle with the challenges of adolescence, making mistakes, and suffering the consequences for them, I sometimes speak those same words to him. As a parent, I pray diligently for my children, doing everything in my power to impress upon them how much God loves and values them and the promise that he has a wonderful plan for their lives. I truly believe they understand that, but in their limited, youthful inexperience, they cannot see how their present reality will impact their future potential. In other words, they are guilty of making poor choices that can and most likely will hinder the unfolding of God's plan and purpose for their lives. They don't realize that oversleeping and missing the bus could very well translate into showing up late for work and losing a job. Or that failing to make good grades in school will be a reflection to future employers or potential colleges of a lack of commitment to follow through and do a good job.

All I can do as a parent is continue to pray each day that God will open their eyes and somehow let them see how precious time is and how precious they are, to me and to him. I pray that they will quickly learn from their mistakes, correct their actions, and above all, have a heart for the one who created the great kid within.

Parenting is difficult and even heartbreaking at times. It requires the heart of a lion, and the help of the Lion of Judah, to train up our children in the way they should go.